10 yo to be euthanised

[mybaby]

On Monday afternoon (1-17-05) , my vet is scheduled to come to my house to euthanise my beloved 10 y.o. baby.He has advanced cancer of liver and spleen . He is not suffering yet (that I know of, but he's not a complainer) He is uncomfortable and his mid section is so swollen,it sways when he walks. What I need help with, is, I don't know if he's ready-I think it's just that I am not ready to let go (I'm not through with him yet!) . My mother says he is telling me but I just refuse to see it. I cry continuously and now I am thinking I should cancel and wait longer. Please, for those of you who have been through this ,please help me see one way or the other and to be confident I am doing right by my baby. He has been the light of my life and saw me through a divorce, singe parenthood, my fathers death...he was always there. The family called him "Velcro Dog" because he is glued to my side(still) . I can't think or see straight. The vet said "any time now is the right time.It's up to you .He cannot get any better". He is the light of my life and I couldnt bear to see him suffer ,but I also couldnt bear to see betrayal in his eyes if he is not ready.Please, help me.

[johnwa]

I'm very sorry to hear about your 10 yo. Can you give us a little history about your dogs medical condition? How long has he had it, what treatment did he get, and so on.

[mybaby]

I brought him in for his distemper shot 3 days before Christmas, not having any idea that anything was wrong other than his belly seemed to feel hard. I asked her to look at it as an aside The vet took immediately took blood tests and Xrays and followed up with ultrsound right after Christmas. She said I could try chemo ,but it (the cancer had spread) and was advanced. I decided that my Sam would never understand why I was bringing him to get treatments that would make him so very sick, with no guarantees that it'd help. I need to add that LAST Monday my 18 year old Siamese went into kidney failure and had to be euthanised as he was obviously suffering .There was no doubt there . My confusion here is that I dont want to see Sam suffer one minute but don't want to shorten his life until he is ready. (I am not an indecisive person but I cannot think rationally right now) .

[suzysues]

I have been through this and I feel your pain. My Rough Collie X was only sick for the last week of her life, but she was also not a complainer. She had had a weak tummy all her life but this was controlled by diet & pills. If she was a bit quiet for a few days, I would realise she was feeling sick & take her to the vets & all would be ok again. But this time, she didn't get better she got gradualy worse. She wouldn't eat & just slept, she seemed to shrink. I tried everything to get her pills into her, even grinding them up & putting them into water in a seringe & trying to force them into her mouth, but she just wouldn't take them. She had always done anything for me, it was as if she had given up. She was nearly 17 and gave me so much joy & love in her life. I always thought that when the time came I wouldn't be able do it, but at 3am on the Friday morning after a sleepness night with her, I couldn't let my baby suffer any more. Making the decision was easier than I ever thought it would be, because I just knew it was the right time. It was still the most painful thing I have ever had to endure, but I know it was the right choice. I still miss her dearly and am crying while type this. But I hope it helps you to know what to do. You will know when the time is right, so please go with your instints. I will be thinking of you.

[coopersmom04]

First of all, I am so sorry. I just had to put a beloved dog down in November, so I know how you feel. I agree with suzysues. Follow your instincts. If you feel like the time isn't right, cancel the appointment and wait. You will know when the time is right. However, if it were me, I think I would go ahead with it, as hard as it may be. It would be even harder to see him suffer. If you'd have to rush him into the vet one day, they would have to put him down there most likely. Oh, I would have given anything to have Ranger euthanized here at home, in his favorite spot, with his favorite toy! But we had no choice. It all happened so fast. Never in my wildest dreams did I think that I would be leaving the vet without him! :(

It's so hard! Follow your heart, and your dog will understand. He loves you and I don't think he would feel betrayed by you for a second, whatever you decide :) Keep us posted!

[mybaby]

Dear CoopersMom and Suzy's Suze, thank you. My instincts tell me to cancel . Yet last night I noticed a large (fist size) hard bump on the side of his swollen belly. My guess is its a tumor. I am so afraid that something inside of him will burst and he will `bleed out' as my vet said could happen. (Has anyone out there experienced the bump issue? what was it? )
Sam was able to take a short walk (about 8 houses worth) yesterday. If he can get into the car with out too much problem, I'll take him for a long ride, which he always cherished.


My indecision scares me. I can't let go . I am not used to this ambivalence. At work I am so self-assured , but my baby turns me to mush. I still can't make up my mind what to do. Thank you for including the pictures - I did so enjoy the pictures of your Goldens. How can you not smile when you see such loving happy companions?

Thanks again for sharing your experiences.

[springr]

Here is a link I think that you can use.

when is it time (http://www.xs4all.nl/~gvdt57/euthanasia.html)

This decision will be the hardest you will have to make. This is a time to let your head rule your heart. I recently had to make this decision twice once of sickness or for aggression. If the vet has told you that your dog may bleed out you would never forgive yourself this happened. Hugs and prayers

Rick

[mybaby]

Dear Rick,

You'll never know how timely that link was. My son had just talked me into cancelling and i was/am still uncertain. But I know what you say is true;I'd never ever forget or forgive myself if I let him go too far . The link was helpful. I just came in from a short walk with Sam. His ears still perk up at the words Walk, Park, Ride, and Gramma's . Then I find myself wavering again. I'm sorry-I don't mean to keep presenting my grief over and over...I do believe you are 100% right, that now is the time to use my head ,not my heart. I hope I have the courage to do just that. Thank you again. I wish I had discovered this Goldens site years ago instead of this week

[goldenlover]

I am so sorry, and feel your pain. We went through the same heart wrenching situation last September. It's especially hard, because they seem to improve overnight, act sick, then perk up again. Our girl had only had six days with us from diagnosis. We decided that we would put her down when she became worse. We knew when it was time. Her last morning, she was very out of it: wouldn't eat, kept her head down, didn't even want to stand up, had a distended abdomen, started panting. I think she had started to bleed out. We took her right to the vet right away to put her down.

If I were you, I would keep the appointment. As difficult as it is to put him down, it may give you a sense of control, that you could prevent him from experiencing any more pain. We are all here for you. God bless.

[Rusty-14]

Hi mybaby, I want to say how sorry I am. I know what you are going through myself.

My 14 year old Golden only has a few months right now and I decided not to put him to sleep.

He has a bleeding Spleen and a cancer mass. My vet said, let him die at home. I asked how was it going to be at the end? She said, hopefully in his sleep.

I think the hardest thing will be that he won't be able to get his breath at the end and then he will go. That really bothers me. I think this is what you will see but all dogs are different. I am hoping it won't be terrible for him and for yours. I am also trying to figure out if this is the best thing to do. How can you put down a dog who is still wagging his tail?

I know this sounds so terrible but I don't believe he is ready or does he want to go yet. As long as he is eating, drinking and going outside to go to the bathroom, my vet said to let him be.

My boy is on a pain medicine and I think that helps.

Take care, I know this isn't easy.
Carol

[mybaby]

Dear Carol,
How are you getting his meds into him? Its getting harder and harder (sammy keeps getting on to my tricks) I have tried peanut butter , roast beef and raw hamburg. Today i was only half successful .If I could be successful I'd know he was less likely to be uncomfortable. He's still wagging and standing, so its doubly hard . But I dont know as I can go off to work not knowing if he is ok when he is alone(Altho his Gramma checks on him throughout the day )

[mybaby]

Golden Lover, you are so right- he's so very sick during parts of the day , and right now he's standing by my side cuz I promised him a walk (more like a slow SLOOWW stroll , but he still loves it . Its so hard to think of putting him down when he wags. I just re-read the Dog's Prayer. Cried like a baby, but the last lines are a consolation if I go that route.

[suzysues]

How can you put down a dog who is still wagging his tail?
I must admit that when the time came for my Princess, she clearly was not happy. I had always had such a special bond with her. She knew when I needed a cuddle or was feeling sad. She loved me to sing to her. She loved me as much as I loved her. She seemed to sense my every mood. I don't know if that is why I knew when the time was right. She was obviously suffering and she wasn't letting me help to make her better. It was my turn to sense her mood and know what to do. I never thought I could do it, but I just knew.

Its so hard to know how much pain they are in. And they spend thier lives trying to please us, so still wag their tails for us. My Princess wasn't wagging her tail any more, she wasn't happy. That made the decision easier to bear, but still so hard. I really am in so much pain for you right now. I wish I could make it easier for you.

Just remember that what ever happens tomorrow, we are here for you and we understand what you are going through. Also you have given your darling Sam the best life you could & he will always be in your heart.

[Rusty-14]

He loves cat food. So does all my dogs. I never had a problem giving them pills thank god.

I also wanted to tell you about the signs I read on the internet about symtems.

The patient is suddenly weak.
The patient may be obviously cold.
The gums will look pale in color.

I guess you must know how offten I look at his gums. I cover him in a blanket already.
I am so lucky he isn't weak yet.
I don't let him walk to far because he has a problem walking like normal with all the arthritis. That is what the meds are for.

If it wasn't for this wonderful medicine he couldn't walk.

[goldenlover]

MyBaby, yes, it makes us feel so conflicted to know their prognosis is very poor, yet they don't show their discomfort or pain, and they're still playful sometimes, and wagging their tail. And you think to yourself, how can I put her down when she seems so normal?

When Bonnie was diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma, her only symptoms were intermittent vomiting and extreme thirst. We were so shocked to know she only had a short time left. As is also so common, her annual checkup was only three weeks prior, and she passed with flying colors. We decided that once we saw the signs that she was critical (pale gums, abdominal distension, extreme weakness), we would take action. If she became too weak to go outside to potty by herself, that would definitely be a one of the signs.

One of my dog-loving coworkers gave me the excellent advice to spoil her rotten until the time came to put her down, and that's what we did. The day after we got the horrible news, we took her to PetSmart, her favorite place, and she seemed so normal! No one there would have known she had so little time left, but we did, and it broke my heart. And we took lots of pictures, and gave the rest of the family a chance to say goodbye to her too. I know she died happy, and still knew who we were, and she was grateful that we stayed with her to the end.

You need to do what feels right to you. We're here for you, so please keep checking in with us. This board was the answer to my prayers when I found it. God bless you and Sam.

Mary E.

[mybaby]

Thank you so much- you can't know how comforting it is to hear from all of you who have survived this sadness.It is the answer to my prayers too. Thank you . My whole family came over today to say goodbye (I am trying to attach a picture my son took.) My little daughters in law cried like babies with me. My sons said ,`Mom -Wait-its not time'. I want to cancel the vet , depending on the kind of night he has and his morning appearance . The large hard mass on his side scares me so much. My courage to do what I think is right for Sammy wanes ...he was SO happy today- two walks , visits from Gramma, tail wags and lots of treats . The vet told me two days before Christmas to let him have what he wants...he has taken full advantage, bless his furry little heart ! I want to do what is right but I truly am not reading from Sam that he is ready to go . That may just be selective `wishing' on my part...

[goodtim'n]

When faced with your situation I have always put my heart on the back burner and made sure that my dogs have passed on with still having their, "PRIDE and DIGNITY" :dogbark Best of Luck!!! This is the downside for us human's with the having the "GREAT GOLDEN" letting US share their life!!!! It's O.K. now to let go!!! You and your best friend know that!!! ;)

[mybaby]

Thank you , Goodtime and Springr. You are right. I have always been a heart over head person but now is not the time to let my needs and sadness take precedence over what my best friend needs and is asking for .We had a tough night last night. I think I am finally hearing him. He pawed the bed twice so I slept on the floor with him. (He's too big to lift onto my bed) His breathing was a light panting all night with two trips outside for diarrhea. He won't take any meds this morning , and very very little food. Maybe he felt my extreme ambivalence about letting go yesterday and now is helping me. You are right , I need to use my head. My heart still screams"NO,NO ,NO" . I need to hold on till 230 when the vet comes here. I am so grateful that she is willing to do that. And I am eternally grateful for the help of all of the posters here who have lived this pain and have been trying to help me do the right thing. I am sure if my Sam could talk, he'd say thank you too. He had a great day yesterday, I have a pawprint and a lock of hair, and the family was all here to love him. He knows he was loved every second of his life. :dogbark

[MegM76]

I just wanted to say my heart is absolutely with you. I'm completely in tears right now. That is a great picture of you two. I'm sure that he knows how much you and your family love him so. You're doing a wonderful thing for him...take peace in knowing that you will be reuinted with him someday.

[mybaby]

Sam and I just went for our last walk. His ears perked right up when I said "Go for walk?" Its bitter cold here today but he was so excited, so we went for a short slow one. He still follows me from room to room this morning ,only slowly. These last three hours, waiting , are brutal .

[coopersmom04]

oh, I'm in tears! We are all thinking of you, mybaby!

[hdhanley]

My Baby, I've been following this posting and crying every time I read it. I didn't know what to say earlier. I just wanted you to know that Sam, you and your family are in our thoughts today.

Lots of love from the East Coast of Canada.

[Rusty-14]

I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry. This is such a hard time for you and your family.

We love them so much. Goldens are the best dogs. They get into our souls. They love us with the kind of love no human can give us. Thats why they are so missed.

I know, after today you will be deeply sad. Just know that we are here if you need us. We understand completely.

Peace be with you and your family.

[theGoldenPup]

We're thinking of both of you.

GoldenPup

[suzysues]

(((((((((((mybaby))))))))))) I came straight here this evening. I was thinking of you. I have no more words for you at the moment, but please post as soon as you feel ready. I am crying for you now.......speak soon.

[coopersmom04]

this makes me cry everytime, but it also comforted me when Ranger passed. And now everytime we see a rainbow, we see it as a way of Ranger saying hi and we say "hi Ranger, we love you too!". We had some pretty bad rain here lately, and one day, the rain stopped and there was a huge rainbow, and it ended RIGHT where we used to walk Ranger in the hills here. Now I'm crying again...*sniff*



Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Author unknown...

[Goldengrammy]

Comic Sans MSundefined

Dear One, as hard as it is to face letting go, if you are convinced that your sweet friend is in danger of bleeding out and possibly when you are not there to give comfort you are truly blessed to have your vet come to you and assist both of you on this last trip. I remember the pain and the grief and not being able to talk about our sweet girl, Olga, without tears for many months. When we finally found out that our girl was filled with cancer (she had leaped up to greet our vet and the ultra-sound technicians) she seemed to know the end was near and refused to move from our back yard where I had let let her out after we had returned from the vet. We could not lift her so I slept on the picnic table bench all night until the next morning when I asked a friend to help us get her into the house. When my friend came, she leaped to her feet again and got into the house with only a little assistance. Of course, this was the weekend. She remained in the family room without moving but once, into the living room almost making it to the area near the air conditioning vent. We invited our walking partner and her dog, Roxie, and our grandchildren to our home to quietly say their goodbyes. She, of course, tried to lift her head and wag her tail, and looked so mortified when she lost control of her bladder. I spent every night on the floor or sofa near her. She had stopped eating two days after her diagnosis and took a little water up until Sunday evening. When we called Monday morning about 7:00 a.m. the vet said that she could be out there in a few hours. Then she called back and said that she could be there at about 8:00 a.m. or so. I did not feel that I had enough time to say goodbye from the short time when we had requested help and our vet's arrival. It seemed to all happen so quickly and when I saw that beautiful golden girl being taken out on a stretcher to the vet's s.u.v., it all seemed surreal. It was very difficult for me to hold her for those last moments, I still felt like I was betraying her, even though I knew rationally that it was the kindest thing to do. This was my first time to be apart of assisting a precious pet over the Rainbow Bridge. My heart goes out to you. We risk so much when we choose to love, but I would not have missed the journey. Goldengrammy

[mybaby]

At 2:30 the vet came as promised. I had prayed so hard all weekend for the right time,right decision. St Francis came through for me and Sam. By afternoon poor Sam couldnt get up off the floor even though we had been out for a walk in the morning. He started to fail fast , within hours .I thought I wanted to be alone but family and friends came over . Sam loves his sweet young lady vet, and when she walked in , his tail was thumping altho he couldnt get up to greet her. The vet was surprised to see 6 people crying ,but she explained everything for those who didnt know what to expect. It was the sweetest most gentle leave-taking ... I held Sammy's chin in my hand, kissed his nose , and within seconds (literally) his head lowered to the pillow onto one paw. He looked like he was a puppy again ,his expression was so sweet and pain-free. The vet whispered to him, Run, Sammy...go play again. I looked at Sam and he looked at peace. My son wrapped the comforter around him and carried him to the vet's van . He looked like a baby, an overgrown 104 pound puppy. If I could have changed anything, it would be to have been left alone earlier...everyone just left and as I read the last few posts here I howled in pain. I am truly bereft . I can't imagine loving like that again .
Last week when our 18 year old Siamese had to be put down, it was not gentle and not peaceful(Different vet for the cats) , so I was truly in terror that my baby would go through what poor old kitty went through. I am eternally grateful for the kindnesses you all have shown and for the love and expertise of a wonderful veterenarian. I take consolation in the last paragraph of A Dog's Prayer : Hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest...and I will leave knowing with the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

[suzysues]

You did the right thing, your baby is at peace now. It was a lovely way to go. And so lovely to have people around you to help you through it. It will be very painful for you now. But you must try to remember all the wonderful years you had together. I am crying with you, but must not let my family see as they have seen too much of that from me since my Princess left me in April. I had a breakdown after she went. It is scary to think that can happen, but she was my baby. I was sick for a long time. I lost interest in my hobbies and found it hard to bond with Abbey at first. I have gradualy gotten stronger over the last few months. Training Abbey has helped us to bond & I love to cuddle her now. I have started to go to the gym regularly again now and feel more like the old me. But there is still an ache where my baby should be.

The trouble is the longer time goes on, the less you can talk about it to people, because they think you should be over it by now. It is less painful, I can talk about her without breaking down and remember the happy times, but I still find it hard to look at a picture of her without crying.

For Xmas my hubs brought me a wade figure of Lady from "Lady & the Tramp" He brought her as she she looks like my princess. I cryed on xmas morning when I opened her. But they were happy tears, because I could share them. She sits on my pc desk a & I kiss her everyday. She sits next to a beanie dog, that looks like my other dog who left us 4 yrs ago. Hubs brought me that too. I draw comfort from knowing that they are now together over Rainbow bridge. And he will look after his lady again.

[goldenlover]

You did right by Sam, and he's at peace now because of you. Every time I thought about Bonnie, the words, "my baby," kept popping into my head, over and over, like a mantra. It was so hard to accept that after 9 and a half wonderful years, she was gone. Being fortunate enough that I haven't lost any close relatives yet, this loss was the most difficult I'd ever faced. They are our babies. Keep coming to the board, and we will help you get through this. Sometimes I think it's too much to expect our spouses to deal with so much emotion, and it will take the edge off it, if you share here on the board. God bless.

[johnwa]

<b>I ONLY WANTED YOU</b>

They say memories are golden
well maybe that is true
I never wanted memories,
I only wanted you.

A million times I needed you,
a million times I cried.
If love alone could have saved you
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly,
In death I love you still.
In my heart you hold a place
no one could ever fill.

If tears could build a stairway
and heartache make a lane,
I'd walk the path to heaven
and bring you back again.

Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

--- Author Unknown ---

[MyBoyGus]

I just popped in to say, I'm so sorry for your loss, but you did the right thing for Sam. I went through the same decisions with my 15 year old lab, it was the most difficult decision I ever made but I know it was the right one. Sam was well loved and it sounds like your baby had a great life. I truly believe that we will meet up with them again some day.

[coopersmom04]

I'm crying for you! :( It's such a hard decision to make, and please know that you can come here and cry. We'll be here for you!

You made the right decision and with time, you will know. After we put down our dog Ranger, I was beating myself up, wondering if we'd made the right decision, and maybe we should have gone forward with the surgery (very expensive, but it wouldn't have mattered, the reason we didn't was because they would have had to keep his abdomen open for about a week after the surgery and I couldn't stand the thought of him suffering through that). Of course, after, I kept thinking "maybe we should have done it". The vet clinic is a teaching hospital and the vet did an autopsy and called the next day and said there's no way surgery would have saved him and that she would have had to put him down on the operating table. I felt very at peace with my decision after, and happy that I got to say goodbye to him and hold his head as he crossed the bridge.

I am so glad Sam got to be at home with those he loved the most, at a place he loved. He's at peace now, with no pain and he'll be waiting for you...

[goodtim'n]

Your best friend, "SAM" carried a big piece of "YOU" right along with him when he crossed the bridge, It works both ways. :dogbark It seems you were a fabulous owner and have expressed your deepest feeling to all of us!!! And in return we all feel your lose and we all pray for your healing.!!!Bless you!! :angel1

[springr]

Here is another link that might help you with your loss
Dealing with pet loss (http://www.petloss.com/)

Godspeed baby

[MegM76]

I'm sure Sam is a puppy again at the bridge, running with and chasing other dogs. :dogbark You did a truly wonderful thing for him. Allow yourself to grieve and talk about him. Big ((Hugs)) for you and your family.

[Rusty-14]

mybaby,

I am so sorry for your loss. My husband asked me why I was crying so hard yesterday when I was reading your post. You have touched all our lives with your love for your Sam.

I know that my time is coming with my Rusty pretty soon. I guess that is why I can relate to you. I wish I could take away your pain but I guess that is part of loving so much.

[suzysues]

Rusty14, you know that we are here for you also. I have been reading your post's about you baby too and think you are being so brave for your Golden.

[Rusty-14]

Thank you so much. One thing I know is that all of you are such wonderful people.

This is a great place to be.

[Acamarrr]

I had to put my Riki to sleep in November, and it was the hardest decision we ever made. She perked up at most meals, allowed us to take her for a spin around the neighborhood (in the wheelbarrow-- he had bone cancer and couldn't walk well). I didn't truly know that it was the right decision until the moment the vet put the medicine in her -- she went so fast, with the teeniest drop, that I now know she was ready.

I haven't shared this with anybody but my sister, but you can read about my experience on my blog. Warning -- it's quite emotional, but it's what I felt about facing this moment with her and my husband.

My Blog about Riki's Death (http://thinkingpatriot.********.com)

Hugs to you and Sam, dear. Our babies are precious, and we'll never forget them!

[mybaby]

Thank you for including a picture of Rusty ..I love his white face, so much like my own baby's was. My kids surprised me today with a gallery of pictures they took over Christmas. In one, Sammy is smiling, and wearing Moose ears (Oh the indignity of it all!). I swear he smiles. Rusty , I wish for you the peace my Sammy found when I finally let go . It was the hardest thing I have ever ever had to do. I brought the vet a bouguet of roses and a letter today, for her gentleness. Coming home tonight for the first time to an empty house made me so sad. I expected to hear the jingle of his dogtags. We had a ritual... I HAD to give him a piece of mail to carry in whenever I checked the mailbox. I knew there would be a huge void , but the silence is deafening.How is it we bond , heart and soul , to our pets? I swear you could see his soul in his eyes.

[mybaby]

Your blog was so heartfelt. I'd give anything to ruffle my Sam's ears, just as you enjoyed the sweet Riki scent .Thank you for sharing

[mybaby]

The Last Battle
If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

[Rusty-14]

Thank you for including a picture of Rusty ..I love his white face, so much like my own baby's was. My kids surprised me today with a gallery of pictures they took over Christmas. In one, Sammy is smiling, and wearing Moose ears (Oh the indignity of it all!). I swear he smiles. Rusty , I wish for you the peace my Sammy found when I finally let go . It was the hardest thing I have ever ever had to do. I brought the vet a bouguet of roses and a letter today, for her gentleness. Coming home tonight for the first time to an empty house made me so sad. I expected to hear the jingle of his dogtags. We had a ritual... I HAD to give him a piece of mail to carry in whenever I checked the mailbox. I knew there would be a huge void , but the silence is deafening.How is it we bond , heart and soul , to our pets? I swear you could see his soul in his eyes.

Thank you so much for taking your time of grief to share with us. I know I will miss my boy as you do Sam. They are such wonderful animals. I feel so lucky I have had him in my life. I am sorry you don't have another dog with you. It does help. I will have my others but each one has a special place in my heart. Rusty has been there for me for 14 years. Longer than any of the others so there is a special friendship between us. Je protected me when I was alone. Just him and me. I always make people laugh when I say Rusty has been with me longer than any husband I ever had.
He knows me very well.

I hope I am doing the right thing. I know that everyday it comes to my mind. Should I? Is this the day he goes? God I hope he doesn't have pain. I don't want to be wrong. For his sake.

[suzysues]

Rusty has such a gentle face. You just want to hug them, no matter what age they are. You know they will cuddle you right back. :)

[mybaby]

You are so right...their faces , at any age, are the face of God, an unconditional love and trust.
Carol, know that I am with you every second. Rusty is so cute.
I wish I could bury my face in my Sam's scruffy ears one more time .
Hug Rusty for us.

[Rusty-14]

I will, mybaby.

How are you doing? Are you alright? You are so strong. I wish I could bring you over a fluffy new puppy. I know you have lots of love inside of you. I know you miss Sam very much. I can feel it from here on the computer. I am so sorry your baby is gone. I really am. It tears me up to see you in pain. Its just going to take time.

You guys will be saying this to me some time soon. Rusty looks like his belley is getting bigger. Is that my imagination? Did that happen to Sam? Did the stomach swell?

[Peggy]

I am so very sorry, mybaby. It is the most difficult decision to make. It was easier to refuse a respirator for my Dad, because we KNEW what he wanted, he could tell us. Please know that you did the right thing and that Sam is happy and no longer suffering. In his time, it will be a very short time until you are reunited. Cyber hugs to you both (((((mybaby and Sam)))))

[mybaby]

Sammy's belly swelled alot, so much so that it swayed when he walked at the end. The vet noticed it first thing when she came to the house. She said it was all swelling and bloat. Of course Sammy was as chubby as could be so it took me a long time to realize that it was swollen.My son used to say he looked like the back end of a beer wagon! I think that was part of why I didnt notice it and bring him in sooner . It was just for the distemper update that I went in.

Peggy , thank you for the hugs. I could drive a truck through that hole in my heart. I was offered a pup again today at work, but I can't even begin to think like that. It feels like such a betrayal. I have pictures of Sammy all over my office . I don't know if it makes me feel better or just feel my loss more. I wish I could take the whole month off and grieve. It's so hard to go to work when I want to just lay on the floor and beat the floor with my fists and wail like a fishmonger. God, I loved him so much. Sometimes I think it's way beyond reason to feel this sad but I do.

[suzysues]

Sometimes I think it's way beyond reason to feel this sad but I do. Absolutely not!! I felt jsut the same. I was off work sick after I lost my Princess. I did have an infection, but I always get infections when I am stressed. I had a breakdown, I think. I was so low. It took me a long time to crawl my way back.

Don't get a pup till you are ready. It was too soon for me and I feel like I missed out on the first few months with Abbey, because I couldn't function properly, of course I love her now, but I didn't at first. Hubs did everything and she really bonded with him.

I am ready now, nearly a year later. I keep looking at pups online, then I feel guilty & go give Abbey a big hug.

I think of you everyday, going through the pain that I went through. I hope that coming here helps. I wish I had had something like this forum then, where other people understand what you are going through.

[goldenlover]

Let yourself grieve, your feelings are perfectly understandable. I felt the same way you do about getting a new puppy. It felt disloyal to even think about it. And it was hard for me, being at work, but it also distracted me from it somewhat. The morning we put her down (not scheduled appt.), I went to work afterward, because I didn't want to be home without her. There were days in work when I just couldn't keep the tears back. It was so hard. I thought of her constantly, and every time it would make me cry again. Emotional agony like I've never experienced. It's taken a few months, but I'm much better now. You will be too. You'll know when you're ready to get a new puppy. Most people just don't know what else to say, so they tell you to get a new puppy because they really think it will make you feel better.

Mary E.

[Lyn]

My heart goes out to you for your loss. Been there , done that. I could not even stay with my Golden Chic when she was put to sleep, but we had quality time together before it happened. All I had to do was look at her and I could feel her say to me, MaMa it is time. Of course I have a 9yr old yet and my new guy, who is almost 6mos. and such a joy. They (Goldens) will always be the loves of my life. I have been sitting here crying after reading the replies and wonderful poems. Just take the time to grieve over your loved Golden.

[mybaby]

I am sure she was saying "mama,it's time" to you....That breaks my heart to hear. At least you listened. I had to drag myself ,kicking and screaming , to that conclusion. And I second -guessed myself for three agonizing days because I wasn't listening to him .I was holding on for dear life . Even then I didnt want to hear it. "There are none so blind as they who will not see" . Thank God there were new-found friends on this lifeline that had cooler heads and reminded me that I'd never forgive myself if he suffered due to my refusal to let go. To all of you I am grateful .

[goldengal]

mybaby, we are all different and what works for one will not work for someone else. I lost my 9 year old Golden, Duke, suddenly on Saturday morning, August 21. He had been my best friend and travelling companion since my husband died in October, 1998. Needless to say, I was heartbroken and the last thing I wanted to do was get a puppy right away.

I had sold my home in a waterfront community last year and moved to Mississauga to live with with my daughter and SIL who have a Bernese Mountain Dog puppy. I mentioned that perhaps come spring I would look for a rescued Golden, but they felt it would be better if I got a puppy to keep Louie (Berner) company, and I did that 6 weeks to the day of Duke's demise.

This new lil gal, Montana, will never take his place, but I love her. She is now 5 months old. I think the fact that I looked for a very light golden (kind of beige-cream right now) rather than the true gold Duke was, as well as his predecessor, says that I was not trying to replace Duke, but still continue on with the wonderful breed.

We all have to do what feels right for us (even if our grown kids decide for us. lol) I love watching their Berner play with Montana because there is 70 lbs. difference, and he is so gentle with her, and yes, she can take ANYTHING out of his mouth including a bone. As my son-in-law says "In this house Montana rules."

[jack]

I caught this thread.......perhaps a bit too late.......but regardless of the outcome......please keep this in mind.
My mother died of cancer when I was 21. During her last days I remember my father saying......we are more humane to animals then we are to humans. Humans must suffer until the end.........maybe drug induced to keep back the pain......but suffer just the same. With animals we have the option to hold back the pain.....and let them sleep peacefully before....or during this particular time. Find comfort in knowing that only you know when the time is right.....and when that time comes.....your are not ending your beloved pets life......but gracefully assisting in the next level. There is absolutely no way of knowing if your a week early....a month late etc.......but when it comes down to it, you are helping them just the same. Animals are not stupid. They only trust those who are worth trusting. So put some faith in yourself and know what your decision is/was ........was right for the time.........and your best friend will know this too.

[Chablis]

I caught this thread.......perhaps a bit too late.......but regardless of the outcome......please keep this in mind.
My mother died of cancer when I was 21. During her last days I remember my father saying......we are more humane to animals then we are to humans. Humans must suffer until the end.........maybe drug induced to keep back the pain......but suffer just the same. With animals we have the option to hold back the pain.....and let them sleep peacefully before....or during this particular time. Find comfort in knowing that only you know when the time is right.....and when that time comes.....your are not ending your beloved pets life......but gracefully assisting in the next level. There is absolutely no way of knowing if your a week early....a month late etc.......but when it comes down to it, you are helping them just the same. Animals are not stupid. They only trust those who are worth trusting. So put some faith in yourself and know what your decision is/was ........was right for the time.........and your best friend will know this too.

This brought tears to my eyes. Your father is a very wise man.

[mybaby]

Thank you both, Chablis and Jack, for the kind words. I had written a very long response but lost it (my response )when I used the back button to check something ...its probably a good thing as I re-opened the floodgates once again. I want to let go of the grief but I can't seem to . I reacted like a wounded animal once he was gone, just rocked back and forth in my grief ... I never imagined it'd be still so painful after this amount of time. I havent yet gotten to the point that I can remember him and smile more often than tear up.

[trevorsmom]

I know exactly how you feel, my baby. I lost my Trevor 5 weeks ago and I still feel so pained and empty. I am a school counselor and have spent many years trying to help kids get through pain and grief but it's hard to practice what you preach. I think you showed a great deal of strength in your final decision to end Sam's suffering. I spend a month taking Trevor from one hospital to another, swearing I would do anything to try to help him. Like you, Trevor saw me through the years after my divorce. We got him a few month after my ex and I separated (He wasn't a dog person) Trevor helped me and my children focus on the positives. We think people help us through the tough times but our goldens are the best supporters we have - no questions, judgments, just pure adoring love and unconditional acceptance. My last hope for Trevor was radiation and up until that time, he never really looked sick during his other treatments. When I picked him up after the 1st radiation treatment, I knew by the look on his face and the emptiness in his eyes that he was tired and trying to tell me that his time was coming to an end. I spent that night holding him next to me in bed and telling him that if he felt it was time to say goodbye, I would understand. I don't know that I would have been as strong as you in realizing that you needed to end Sam's pain. I think Trevor knew that I would have struggled too hard with that decision. My daughter and I carried him downstairs to his favorite spot on the sofa. She had to go to work but I stayed home to hold him, put his head in my lap, and share his final hours. He took the decision out of my hands and, though I'll never know for sure if he was in any pain, I will also be ever grateful to him for making the decision for me. I too feel an emptiness I've never known since losing my mother many years ago. I have lost other friends but this is a pain that is often unbearable. I am glad I found this site because in the short time I have been coming here and reading the stories of others, I feel like I'm not alone. And that is the best way to survive grief - in the company of others. Hang in there. That's all any of us can do.

[mybaby]

We lost our sweet babies about the same time . I am so sorry for your loss /our losses. The vet said I could try chemo , and other measures. I knew my sweet Cowardly Lion would never ever understand ...he was my Velcro dog and would have been so terrified. You were so wonderful and Trevor was so lucky to have you holding and loving him. I was lucky enough to have a vet who came to my home and made sure that he went ever-so-gently. You are right-the loss is such a devastation that it helps to know that there are others who do understand. I know I would never have really believed how traumatic it is if I didnt have to live it. God bless our beloved fur babies. I hope our Sammy and Trevor met at the Bridge and are doggiex1 together!

[mybaby]

I forgot to ask...how long were you blessed with your boy before you lost him?

[trevorsmom]

we had him for 9 and a half years. Got him when he was 8 weeks old and he filled up our home. My child was just done her 1st year of college, my son in high school, my youngest in elementary. Now my son is married, and my youngest is soon to finish college. I think she feels the loss enormously too since Trevor was her baby/little brother/ source of support in the first few years after her dad left. Trevor saw us through proms, graduations, weddings ( and he was in most of the pictures of those events as well!) Though we all knew we would lose him sometime, we believed it would be alot longer then it was. Nine years is too short but, given what he meant to us - to me- I don't think we would ever have been okay with losing him - even if he loved to be 20! But I'm sure neither he nor your Sam would have wanted to live in any way but as the happy healthy pups they were for so many years.

[mybaby]

Wow, reading your situation was a reflection of my own. It was just my boys , me and Sam. Then the boys moved into their own homes and it was me and my Sam...maybe that is why I was so darn attached to him, my orange sunshine boy!

And you make a very poignant point, that even 20 years would be too short. doggiex1

[SoulCatcher]

My heart hurts for you so bad. I remember your pain as if it were mine. My T'Chen (Lhaso) who was my first baby was so weak and bloated. I had to take her to get her put down, the would not let me come back with her which tore my heart up. I had to hand her over to the lady. I told her how sorry I was and that I loved her. I went outside and threw up. The pain and grief is still to this day the worst I have ever felt. I did cut a lock of her hair and I keep it in my jewelry box and when I miss her I touch it. It has kept it's blond color for all these years. You never forget your best friend, your child. The sadness of the day never goes away. When our White Shepard had to be put down due to cancer also I had a breakdown and had to go to the ER. I brokedown, my heart hurt, massive headache. I guess the fear of T'Chen came back. They are so innocent and they can't talk and you wonder if you are doing the right thing. You wonder if they know how much you loved them. If there is a heaven I sure can not wait to hug her and kiss her little face again, and see the strength in Fenian's eyes (Shepard). I hope there is a big doggie ranch in heaven and they do play and talk and tell stories of the things we did for them. God Bless your doggie and may he be laying at God's side waiting for the day he is in your arms again. Lots of love.

[mybaby]

(I like that name Soulcatcher, since my baby boy certainly caught my heart and soul) That was a beautiful post and it helped alot. It's been 7 weeks (but who's counting??). Just today , at noon , I was returning from a meeting and as I passed the highway exit near my home while enroute back to my office, I started to think "Oh good, I have time to scoot home and let the Samster out and have lunch at home with him", and then it hit me -again. I still cannot believe he is gone . I can't. I can't .I can't. And tonight ,I don't even know WHAT hit me but I could feel my face crumple and my heart just hurt again. It is such a shock to me ...I am not an emotional person...or so I thought. But my baby's loss is the worst pain ever. I appreciate so much your sharing your grief. Believe me, I feel your pain and I am so sorry for your loss too.

[JsMom]

I know it’s been several months and I hope you are doing well.

As I read your posts and those caring folks here that encouraged you and told you that you were doing the right thing, the tears ran down my face. Oh why didn’t I find this site earlier?

I too had struggled with the decision of euthanasia with our old guy – he was nearly 17, had hip dysphasia, needed to be lifted almost every time to stand, was falling more times than I could count. He was full of lumps and bumps and his testicle was now the size of a tennis ball. He also had an oozing cyst that I took care of for a year and another sore that would not heal on the back of his neck – (thus the large white diaper he wore as a scarf.) So yes, I knew it really was time, but like you I struggled with the decision. I hoped he would go in his sleep as we all do and then figured I would wait until his tail no longer wagged, but as you all know when it comes to a Golden’s tail,

if there is a will, there’s a wag. :dogbark

We believe the night before his 17th birthday he suffered a stroke, the next morning he started walking to one side, fell and then lay down as if to tell us. “Enough already! Let me go!” I do have to tell you at this point, his tail no longer wagged and never did on his last day.

After seeing how easy it was on him, with another I would do it sooner. I’m afraid we waited too long.

Please be comforted in the fact that your baby enjoyed his last day with you and your family and still was willing and able to wag that wonderful tail to the very end.

I do wish they had a hugging icon here cause I would give you a hug if I could!

[mybaby]

Thank you. I cried for you today. I have stayed away from this thread for a very long time because it was so debilitating to relive the loss of my Sammy ,my baby, the light of my life. It's going on 5 months since my baby left, but the grief is still so intense. My sweetheart bought me a new pup a week ago. He is adorable and helping me heal but I will never ever get over the loss of my velcro dog.I think this new pup is going to be my sweetheart's `forever' dog. I love my new adorable Golden pup :doggface , but I still hold thoughts of my Sam :dogbark so very close to my heart. I could still cry at the drop of a hat when I think of him. I really don't think I'll ever get over it. :reddogx

[mybaby]

How are you doing , after your loss of an obviously beloved Golden? I miss my Sammy so much that the tears just stream whenever anyone asks me about him, still . I feel the pain like it was yesterday... oh how i long for the day when i can think of my sweet baby without crying, and just remember the good times . And there were ten years of good times . I must try to focus on that. I hope you are doing Ok. I just had to stop by this thread again to ask how you were doing. doggiex1

[JsMom]

Thank you for asking - I'm doing much better now - thanks to being here every day! Getting much better about tearing up too - and I hope you are as well.

Our Goldens would not want us to be sad and you know it.

I hope you are enjoying your pup (did you post a pic yet?) - I hope to have one within the year. Not sure I am quite ready for the craziness yet - but a pup would get me off this puter and keep me on my toes again. (Probably why I'm not seeing you on as much these days.)

And look what Johnwa added? :hug1 :happy2

[3 goldens]

I just read this entire post from first to last and shed a lot of tears. I have always tried to avoid this topic as my Buck is 10 1/2. I lost my precious 4 year old golden, Hunter, to autoimmune hemolytic anemia on Oct. 16, 2003, 6 weeks after his 3rd Proheart6 injection and I have never stopped missing him. We do have his littermate sister, kayCee, 10 1/2 year old Buck (golden) and Honey, a golden mix we adopted in Dec. 2002.

Eight years ago this past Saturday, July 9, I had to let my 12 year old irish Setter go--bone cancer.It was exactly 10 weeks from the day of diagnosis that I let him go. That 10 weeks was filled with fishing trips every day where he chased crabs in shallow water, swam, tried to chase sore birds--his back let wouldn't bed at knee, so he developed a bunny hop that slowed him down. He had everuything he loved to eat--fruits, banana splits, ice cream straw berry short cake, popcorn and chocolate candy in small amounts. It was a marvelous 10 weeks for him. I took him to visit my vet twice a week and each time was told "We don't need to do it yet."

But that morning he went to get on the sofa and fell and I found the lump in his shoulder and j=knew the leg would be useless in a couple of days and I let him to that day. He had enjoyed life to the last.

[Brandy and Charlie's Mom]

3Goldens -- it's never easy but it's often the last act of love. I too remember exact dates I lost my babies.

[BeauBeauBear]

Hello, I'm new to this site and I'm sooo excited to be here. I have a 14 1/2 year old Golden(Beauregard "Beau") who I didn't think could still hike or go out into the mountain streams; he hasn't been well over the past 6 months. Well today something just told me that we could go! I was able to lift his 70 lb body into my SUV with my 6 year old Golden (Magnolia "Maggie") and into the mountains we went. I had no idea what would happen, but after a couple of hours of driving I finally found a spot and off we went. The river was running a bit fast (I live in Santa Fe, New Mexico) and the bottom was very rocky - at first they both kinda went off with the current - luckily I was able to get them both back on their feet and used to the current. While Maggie was playing I just stayed with my BeauBeauBear and let him feel the cool water rush over his aging body. His tail was wagging like crazy and he just looked up at me with his loving eyes thanking me for the break of just walking on hot flat lands. He is just the best dog - regardless of the fact that he IS a Golden; he's just the most perfect dog. He has never caused any problems, loves anyone and everyone, has let my nieces dress him up, pull his ears, tails, love on him a bit too tight,has caught a few squirrels in his hay day, along with a few birds, but he always let them go! I'm rambling on here...just so excited that he let me know he still loves to hike in the mountains - while it's not for the hours and hours we used to, at least he can still go up there and my hope is that when his time comes he will be where he really loves it - with me in the mountains!! I thank God each and everyday for all Golden Retrievers - they are by far the best creatures on earth!! I know that my beloved Chelsea, who was my first Golden who raised Beau, was looking down on us today wagging her tail!! My heart goes out to all of those in pain due to their ailing Golden or losing one. I cried more over the lose of Chelsea than I did my parents and I know that when Beau's time that it will be one of the most painful moments of my life. But what keeps me going are the memories I make with them while they are happy and healthy. I hope it won't be for a few more years, but it's comforting to know that this board is here for me. God bless the Golden Retriever and their keepers!! Amie

[JsMom]

Oh it's so wonderful to hear of a 14 year old still doing what he loves best! (Though not as much) We all slow down as we age. ;) I hope he has many more happy years with you! :dogbark

[goldenmomma]

I cried like a baby when I read this thread. Especially when the vet was telling Sammy "Run Sammy". God, that just ripped my heart out.

I am sorry for your loss. Your puppy was loved by you so much.

Peace
Chris

[mybaby]

...it's been 6 months this week and it still hurts like it was yesterday. I cannot explain why it hurt so intensely- I still cry if anyone asks me about my baby-God How I loved that dog...like I never loved before or since. Even now, writing this, I am so teary-eyed. I have a 14 week old Golden pup but it hasnt lessened , even one iota, the unbearable hurt of the loss of my Sammy. Yes I love my new pup, but he has bonded more with my husband and thats OK.I dont think I was ready . I still spoil my new pup shamelessly but the loss of my baby was so intensely personal and deep. I try not to come to this thread too often , as it is like picking off the lid all over again. Thank you so much- I could not have made it through that awful awful weekend if I hadnt discovered all the wonderful people on this site.Sammy is , was , and always will be, my `forever" dog.

[searching dog]

I feel so sorry for you althought i havent experienced a decision in my life like this i can begin to imagine how painful it can be id say give her/him lots and lots of love so he rests happily in peace knowing that he had a good home and a loving owner.Tell Sam I said Hi

[mybuddy]

MYBaby,

Allow yourself to miss Sammy for as long as you need. For some people, they never get over it. I know my Grandfather never got over the loss of his dog and my Mom, after 14 years of losing her dog, still cant talk about it. I tell you, I was so moved by the way you expressed your love for Sammy here. Sad...so very sad....I just finished reading it and have go and clean up my face before heading back to work. WHew!!! Gosh, my thoughts are with you always, I mean that! One added note....how fortunate I feel Sammy was to have you.

[mybaby]

That was sweet of you to say. He did have a good life-I try to console myself with that thought. I so enjoyed babying him-he was SO velcro :doggface

[NewMom]

MyBaby,

I just finished reading this thread and I want you to know that I know exactly how you feel. Our dog, Jasper, who I loved deeply passed away over 5 years ago at the age of 13. It took a long time to be able to think about him without crying. I still do occasionally. But the intense pain will pass. You will always miss the dog you loved so much but it will get better and better.

It took all of this time for me to be ready for a new puppy. In a few weeks we will be taking home 2 new golden puppies!

[PeggyMa]

I lost my golden girl Chestnut just this week (8/1/05). She was 11 yr old. I didn't know it could hurt so much, and I miss her very much. No word can describe my grief.

Starting around 7/1, she started to have diarrhea. Appettite was good so the vet and us weren't too concerned. Blood test was fine. She was put on 10 days of antibotics which she did not respond to. Then she refused to eat, later not drinking and we rushed her to emergency room. She was put on IV fluid. X-ray showed no obstruction but the intenstine looked "lazy", so the vet supected possibililty of cancer in the GI system. Ultrasound and biopsy next day confirmed lymphomia. We decided on chemo since the internist was so optimistic about it. We took her home but she did not repond to the steroid which supposed to make tumor shrink,so she could eat again. She still wouldn't eat and died peacefully 3 days later. In a way, I'm glad she made her own decision. I was not sure I wanted her to go through chemo. But I miss her very much. She is the most gentle and understanding dog I've ever seen. We walked so many miles together, in both good times and bad times.

She had her physical just in May and she "looked" so healthy. I knew it's quite common for golden to get cancer and we really kept her away from lawn chemical. The park we took her to doesn't have lawn chemical applied to. And yet she died of lymphomia. I talked to the breeder of her father and he died around the same age of cancer. May be it's in her genes !?

My brother in law's golden also died of GI cancer last month at age of 11-12. Do goldens have a shorter life span compared to 15 years ago? I thought the average should be 13.

Today is the 5th day after losing Chestnut and I'm still crying vey often. I know she really lived a good live, she loved people and people loved her back, but my sense of loss is so much I really don't think I can ever recover from it.

Peggy

[JsMom]

Peggy - I am so sorry and know your pain - it is horrible pain right now - but I'm 3 months ahead of you and it is getting better. Stay with us here and talk it out - and when things get too low - check out the puppy section - that always gives me a lift. It's never easy - no matter how old or young your dog it. Heal quickly.

[mybaby]

It's so very intense, and so deep in the heart ,isn't it? I am so very sorry for your loss . J's Mom is right- stay with us.It will help to know others are sharing your grief because most have been through it. JsMom, I am so sorry for your loss too. Three months is endless when you are grieving .My Sammy was my `Forever' dog. No one will ever ever ever take his place- we bonded at a point in my life when I needed him as much as he needed me.I 've been told that someday I 'll be able to talk about him without crying, but I sure still get a huge lump in my throat , and I cannot talk about my sweet baby without serious pain .New Mom, thank you for the encouraging words . I do believe that 5 years from now, like you, I'll be better able to accept this loss.(Dear God, at least i hope so) And congrats on your new babies! May they bring you joy and peace :doggface

[mybaby]

a week from today will mark the one year anniversary of when I wrote into here, brokenhearted and desparate for a solution.My Sammy will be gone a year on Jan 17. Bless his fuzzy old soul- it still hurts as much as ever . My consolation is that his leavetaking was so very peaceful , with his sweet muzzle in my hand and a big kiss on his nose. I guess I know now that it was time...but I wasn't through with him yet!! :reddogx I love you ,my Sammy.I'll see you at the Bridge

[mybuddy]

Mybaby

I have tears for you. When does the pain stop????? Hugs

[mybaby]

I read something this week that really made me think. In a magazine , someone wrote in on how very very sad she was , even many months later, after her 14 YO Golden girl had died, and why wasnt her family as devastated as she. The psychologist who answered suggested that because the dog was hers alone when she was young and single , that she not only connected , bonded , in a way that rarely happens , but that losing the furchild represented the lost youth and a special time in her life . The psychologist also said how we are brought back in our minds to good times in our lives with the happy memories and that is a reminder that those times are a loss of our youth and those special times are now gone as well as the dearly loved pet...My baby Sam was with me throughout all of my single parenthood years , when it was just me and my boys (all 3 , Sammy and the two kids) He was there through some of the happiest and toughest times I've ever experienced , so I wonder if that shrink may have something there . I loved him for the unconditional support and love ,but also for growing up with me and the boys.Food for thought. But mostly I miss him like i've never ever thought I could survive. There are so many here who had that incredibly deep bond with their golden child .God bless us all :reddogx

[JsMom]

Amen!