Baby will be crossing the bridge soon

[bethmac]

Please keep her in your prayers. She's 18 1/2 and has been deteriorating, but she's had regular vet appts and bloodwork, so I've just made sure she's had happy golden years. Two years ago she developed hyperthyroidism and I opted for her to have radioactive iodine therapy which cured her of that.

Two nights ago, she suddenly just kind of plopped, and after that wouldn't eat or drink. She was cool to the touch and I was so sure she was dying and would not make it through the night. She was under the bed yesterday morning and seemed to be better so I thought I'd see how she was when I got home from work. Under the bed again but didn't seem to be in any real distress. Last night I syringe fed water to her and made sure she was warm and comfortable. I did a lot of soul searching about the best thing to do. Ten years ago we put our dog to sleep and never got over it. I always pray my animals will go quietly in their sleep with no suffering. This morning I knew I had to take Baby to the vet. However, I promised her she'd come home. The vet delivered the bad news of a mass and fluid in her chest and a temp of 91. They tapped fluid off and put her in a radiant warmer. I went and picked her up and brought her home. The vet has given her 2 days at the most.

I have not come to the "right" decision yet. I want her here at home, in familiar and loving surroundings. If I choose to put her to sleep, I want to wait until my husband comes home tonight so he can say his goodbyes to her. I pray she goes before I can load her up to take her back. Maybe I can find a vet who will come and let her go here. I've talked to Baby and told her it's ok to go and that I know she'll watch over me and wait for me. This is my baby, my child. I've had her since she was 3 weeks old, when she was rescued from her mother, who had no milk.

No matter how much you try to prepare yourself for the end, it doesn't seem to work.

[johnwa]

I'm sorry to hear this about your girl. But wow! you owned her for 18+ years! :)

[bethmac]

I spent the afternoon with Baby. I asked her to just hang on long enough for daddy to get home, and I had called him and asked him to get home as soon as he could. She WAITED for him. They spent some time together and then it was over.

I'm so very glad I left work and brought her home. I think if I'd left her at the vet until I got off work, she would have thought I'd abandoned her and gone without me.

I'm soooo sad, but she made the decision for me and she's gone home.

[Jo Ellen]

I'm so glad that worked the way you wanted it to. I know how very important it was to you.

Yours from 3 weeks to 18-1/2 years ... that's an era. I wish you much peace in the days ahead ... you did good, Bethmac, you did good :hug1

[Tom]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's never easy. However, you had a lot of great years together and you made sure that she was loved to the very end. That's so important and you can and will take great comfort in that always. God bless you and keep you. You have a wonderful heart.

[lammer29]

I am soooo sorry for your loss. I cried just picturing it in my mind. It is awesome that you had 18 wonderful years, though. They are with us such a short time, but you defied the odds. I am thankful that she went the way she did, so that neither of you had to suffer any more than you did.She was with her "mom" and "dad" at home. It definitely sounds like she knew how much you loved her and she you, cherish your memories,may they comfort you.

[Baylee Golden]

It was with a heavy heart that I read your posting as you lovingly said goodbye to your feline friend. I hope you have many fond memories to carry you through this difficult time. I had to say farewell last year to two of my geriatric kitties and it is never easy but you found a loving way to ease your cat's final goodbyes.
My heart goes out to you and my tears are of understanding .
Peace be to you.

[Tailer'sFolks]

I too am so sorry for your loss. 18 1/2 year of kitty love...can't ask for much more can you. I hope you & your hubby can be at peace, knowing you had such a great life together. Keep the memories and never forget.

[maryjean]

our thoughts and prayers are with you.

mary jean

[Daniela (UK)]

I'm sorry for your loss.

18.5 years! wow.. that's a beautiful age!

Daniela

[Duke's Mom]

Bethmac, Words always seem to escape me in times like these. She looks just like our Main Moon cat, Diego in that picture. And, what a beautiful girl she was. A picture worthy of framing.

Praise God she went at home surrounded with love. Amazing how deeply we love our fur babies.

[Dogrunner]

I'm so sorry for your loss.....God be with you and comfort you.

[Seamus' Mom]

I'm so sorry.........

The photo you posted of her is beautiful.

[bethmac]

Thank you, everyone for your kind words. It was very comforting to me. I cried with each and every response.

I've spent the last two days crying, looking at pictures and laughing and reminiscing. I've made countless calls to my mom (who complains that I never call her, but I do in crisis). She's 80 and I value her wisdom. She's as much a cat lover as I am and we have shared and cried over our loved ones who've passed on.

Between my mom and husband, we've come up with wonderful "cat heaven" stories. We are convinced that my most loved cat Shali, who died 5 years ago, met Baby when she passed over (they sooo loved each other). Shali would be the social queen of all cat angels. She would show Baby the ropes, apprise her of the fabulous gourmet dinners each night to include seafood, chicken and beef buffets...and endless parties.

In reality, my greatest prayer would be that Shali was waiting for her at the bridge, and I think she was. The human aspect is guilt, the 'what if's' and 'if only's'. It's enough to tear us apart. My heart tells me I did everything I could, but that stupid brain of mine steps in and makes me second guess everything.

I chose to have Baby cremated. I picked up her ashes today. They did a wonderful job of presentation. They gave me a "gift bag" (tissue paper and all) to include her ashes in a decorative tin and a certificate of cremation. We have decided to bury her ashes in the back yard and I will get a grave marker.

I know I'm rambling. Thank you all for letting me do so. This is therapeutic for me. Today was easier than yesterday, and tomorrow will be easier than today. The day will come, I know, that I don't cry, but until then.....

Thanks for listening and for your support.

ps. Duke's Mom: Baby was a Maine Coon mix. She was not the normal size of a Maine Coon but she certainly had all of the other personality traits. I just think they are wonderful :)

[Duke's Mom]

I meant Maine Coon :rolleyes: Main Moon is a Chinese restaurant here in town. :cool: And, yes, they are wonderful. Such personalities!

[bethmac]

I meant Maine Coon :rolleyes: Main Moon is a Chinese restaurant here in town. :cool: And, yes, they are wonderful. Such personalities!

Maine Moon=Chinese, Maine Coon=Cat, yes, I see the resemblance :D

I knew what you meant...hehehe

Oh GOD, I miss my baby.

[Duke's Mom]

I know you do.....I'm so sorry :o

[Erk]

What a beautiful story of love! Folks like us who hang out on a pet discussion board certainly know what you are going through. It's hard, I know, but that's what happens when you give your heart to one of God's furry creations.

You gave her a very long, wonderful life. That is what will comfort you in the years ahead. Believe me, I know! :)

Hang in there and best wishes, bethmac!

[bethmac]

Thank you so much, Erk. Every day I wake up and the first thing I remember is that Baby is not lying on my head. Yes, ON my head. :) And the second thing I think is, "today will be easier than yesterday and tomorrow will be easier than today", as I said in an earlier post. And it's true.

I've vowed to indulge and totally spoil my younger cat, Lia, more than she's spoiled now. :D

[Lego&Jacub]

I am very sorry that you lost your dear baby. She was absolutely beautiful btw. I not only want to send you a ((HUG)) but also want to say congratulations on a long wonderful life for your sweet kitty. You will definitely have a lot of memories to think back on.

[bethmac]

Thank you Lego&Jacub :) It's still so hard but we are all surviving :)

[johnni]

I am new to this site and today was the first time I got on the cat forum.
Your story had me in tears, my heart just is broken.
You were so blessed to be able to be there when Baby crossed over. I lost my Charlie a little over 2 years ago. She also was 18.
It started one night, seems the same as what Baby went through. The next morning she could not even stand. I took her to the vet at 7:30 a.m, planned to get back at 10:00 a.m I had to get to work.
The vet was doing a surgery & said he would be out at 10
He told me she was dieing of old age. The call came around 8:30. Tears are falling even as I write this....Knowing I was not there, still after over 2 years, I feel I let her down. I may never stop hurting...I miss her so. So know that God blessed you in letting you be there for her. She will always be in your heart. my prayers are with you & if you ever find a way to ease the pain please let me know

[Jo Ellen]

Johnni, you did not tell me this on the phone this morning ... or did I miss it ?? It's not hard to imagine how you feel, not being there. We can't control all things but such a mercy when we can control the way we say goodbye.

Ughhh...heavy hearted. :o Yes, it is a gift to be able to be there when they pass. We all hope and pray for the same with our pets. My employer is going to have to let me work from home when that time comes or I'll quit. There's just no way this dog is leaving without me right there with her. No way.

I'm sorry you have to feel this sadness, Johnni. I can imagine.

[bethmac]

Your story had me in tears, my heart just is broken.

Awww Johnni, don't cry, you'll make me start crying again. I know we all do what we have to do. No matter what, we will always wonder what we could have or should have. The bottom line is, our babies, who have loved us unconditionally throughout their lives, know how much we loved them. That love is eternal, both ways.

Charlie is waiting for you. You never let her down :)

I think the only way to ease the pain is to know they are still with us in our hearts. Other than that, know that we are all here for each other as we share our stories.

[bethmac]

My employer is going to have to let me work from home when that time comes or I'll quit. There's just no way this dog is leaving without me right there with her. No way.

Jo Ellen, you got that right!! No way, no way at all!!

[johnni]

Beth
Thank you for your kind words...Yes, I know she will always live in my heart. I know Charlie knew how much I loved her.
And Jo Ellen is right. I will never let any one or anything come between me and being there for the rest of my babies.
I have a cat, Waldo who is 16 years old and a baby kittie, Gus who is about 1 year old and then of course Luke who is 4
I will be there !!! Still, Oh how I miss my Charlie.

[Jo Ellen]

I read this today and thought I would post it here, it seems to be the right place.

I read that dogs (and cats) generally pass away when someone leaves the room.

I wonder if that's true. If it is, I wonder why ?

[johnni]

Jo Ellen,
I heard the same thing. I heard that they will even leave home to die if they are let outside.

[Jo Ellen]

What a dilemma then. I would like to think that when Daisy's time comes, I'm going to be sensitive to what she needs, but I want to be there with her. What if she doesn't want me there ??? :o

She's definitely not leaving home to die. I'll have to draw the line there.